Book Review by Robert J. Nejedlo, Ph.D.

Conflict Resolution: The Partnership Way (2008)
By Barry K. Weinhold & Janae B. Weinhold

Drs. Janae and Barry Weinhold write this book from a strong philosophical belief that the natural state of the universe is peaceful interdependence, and their premise is that peace is inevitable. Contrasted with the traditional view that conflict is inevitable and we must learn to manage it, we indeed witness a paradigm shift and are challenged to take part in a transformative learning experience to resolve conflicts the Partnership Way.

The purpose of the book is to "help adults recognize their residue of developmental trauma and to teach the psychological tools needed to resolve their conflicts in peaceful ways." Rather than using competitive, aggressive means to get what we need and /or prove our worth, the authors present a framework for us to acquire skills for resolving our conflicts in a caring, compassionate manner which can lead both parties to deeper growth and development of potential. Appreciation is expressed to both the authors for the extensive review of the professional literature on conflict resolution which is evident throughout the book. The content is enhanced by the inclusion of relevant knowledge from their references.

The book is organized in four parts. The first part details the elements of the Partnership Way by identifying the need for a new approach to conflictresolution, by explaining how to address the problem of conflict from a partnering‚ perspective, and then by analyzing which theories of conflict resolution contribute to the Partnership Way. The authors write in a logical, direct, and comprehensible style which enables the reader to easily integrate the knowledge within one’s personal system. This is not to say that the content is simplistic; on the contrary, it is academic and profound. It calls for reflective thinking. It calls upon the reader to make assessments and analyses of personal unresolved traumas. It challenges us to accept another wake-up call as we journey through life.

Part Two describes how to resolve conflicts related to wants and needs and values and beliefs. The Weinhold’s made a significant breakthrough leading to resolving conflicts of values and beliefs. Through experimentation they found that when two people were in a safe environment and could share the experiences that helped them form their values and beliefs, without attempting to change the other person’s value or belief, then they couldunderstand each other’s position. This was the key that led to the development of the partnership process for resolving conflicts of values and beliefs. The authors present self-inventories and awareness activities at the end of each chapter. These provide the reader with a framework for analyzing personal style, identifying how it was developed, and learning where it is effective and ineffective.

Part Three teaches the reader how to resolve conflicts that seem to reoccur in one's life. The authors define these as intractable conflicts and explain what causes them to reoccur. Barry and Janae are adept at explaining terminology. For example, "Any time you feel yourself overreacting during conflict situations, you know that you‚re in an intractable conflict containing unidentified and unprocessed material from the past. You know when you are overreacting because your adrenal stress response activates physiological symptoms and you have the urge to fight, flee, or freeze." (p.91) Also in Part Three, an in-depth examination of the sources of trauma and conflict is presented in each of four stages of human development, i.e., co-dependent, counter-dependent, independent, and interdependent. The last section on skill development for resolving intractable conflicts using the Partnership Way provides indispensable information in the conflict resolution process. Throughout the authors’ writing, one can see that they have experienced in laboratory setting that of which they write; their sharing of situational examples and their suggestions to correct conflicts make the conflict resolution process attainable. The self-inventories at the end of each chapter evidence thoughtful, caring detail in their preparation. It is reflective of the authors‚ compassionate intensity that individuals learn effective peaceful conflict resolution skills in the context of partnering.‚

Part Four provides an application of the Partnership Way to resolving conflicts in a variety of settings. Separate chapters are devoted to the mental health profession, schools, the workplace, the legal system, larger social systems, and the evolution of the human species. The Weinholds have had experiences in each of the above settings. They were able to field test the Partnership Way in these settings, working with individuals, small groups and government entities. These experiences enable them to write authoritatively. It is evident that their process works. Their accounts of working with women in the Ukraine and with the Minister of Labor, Social Affairs, and Family in Slovakia were compelling. Their metaphorical writing, "It was clear how Mother Russia and Uncle Sam had been locked in a conflict that might end in divorce (nuclear war) and destroy the global family" is brilliant! Read more on page 190.

The last two chapters are real treats. Drs. Weinhold applied their knowledge, wisdom, and vision as they wrote the fascinating chapter "How Can the Partnership Way Be Applied to the Evolution of the Human Species?" In the persons of Janae and Barry, the world has two creative, risk-taking individuals who really do practice what they teach. Their last chapter is an integration of their professional work with their personal lives. They weave their knowledge and practice of the Partnership Way with the sharing of their personal journeys of transformation. Here are two mentors and models for us.

For further resources, an annotated listing of instructional materials (20 curriculum guides, 22 videos, and 59 books) and professional materials (64 professional organizations, 3 journals, and 24 resource catalogs) is provided. In addition the authors have written an excellent Instructor’s Resource Guide for this book. A Semester Course Outline and a Two-Weekend Course Outline are provided. For each chapter in the text, there are overviews of the chapter, suggested teaching strategies, key questions for discussion, and test questions.

Janae and Barry Weinhold have not only plowed new ground in the conflict resolution area, they have taken the concepts in conflict resolution to newvistas. Their work is transforming. It holds great promise in bringing about a peaceful universe.

The Reviewer: Robert J. Nejedlo, Ph.D. is a retired professor of counseling from Northern Illinois University, DeKalb, Illinois. In 1988-89 he served as President of the American Counseling Association. He was Visiting Professor of Counseling at Governors State University, University Park, Illinois in 1997-98. Since that time he has been an University Lecturer of Counseling at Governors State University.

Comments

[single dad]

glad to check this out... thanks!