Kindness Campaign

What Does Love Mean...?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think:

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 "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." Rebecca- age 8
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 "When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth." Billy - age 4 (I love this one)
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"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other." Karl - age 5
------  "Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." Chrissy - age 6
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 "Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." Terri - age 4
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 "Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." Danny - age 7
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 "Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss" Emily - age 8
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 "Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen." Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)
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 "If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate," Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)
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 "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday." Noelle - age 7
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 "Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." Tommy - age 6
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 "During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.  He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore." Cindy - age 8
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 "My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." Clare - age 6
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 "Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken." Elaine-age 5
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 "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford." Chris - age 7
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 "Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." Mary Ann - age 4
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 "I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones." Lauren - age 4
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 "When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you." (what an image) Karen - age 7
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 "Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross." Mark - age 6
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 "You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget." Jessica - age 8
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 And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child. The winner was a four-year old child whose next-door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped him cry."

(Unknown Source)

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We are going to collect and publish Kindness Stories sent to us by you the viewer of this web site. If you have a story to submit, email us at barryK@weinholds.org. We look forward to hearing your story.

The Importance of being a Friend

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried someof his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!" He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation.

I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak. Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous.

Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!" He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.

He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth. Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. Forbetter or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

The Cab Ride I Will Never Forget

by Kent Nerburn

Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. One time I arrived in the middle of the night for a pick up at a building that was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window. Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute", answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie. By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing", I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy", she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."

I looked in the rear view mirror. Her eyes were glistening.

"I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers".

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly, lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware--beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

Kindness Suggestions

“The ideas that have lighted my way have been kindness, beauty, and truth.” – Albert Einstein

Here are some suggestions for acts of kindness that you might consider doing.

1. When another driver is trying to enter traffic, smile and wave him/her to go ahead of you.
2. As you walk through your neighborhood, pick up any trash on the sidewalk or gutter.
3. Validate another person. Look for something you genuinely enjoy or appreciate about them and mention it. (their appearance, skills, something they did, something about their character that you admire)
4. Send a letter to someone you look up to, letting them know what a difference they have made in your life.
5. Treat the other person with respect, no matter who he/she is
6. Offer to tutor students or help them with their homework.
7. Say something encouraging to a friend who is feeling down.
8. Organize some friends to clan an elderly neighbor’s yard.
9. Put your shopping cart back in its appropriate place in the parking lot or store.
10. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, homeless shelter, school or nursing home.
11. Listen deeply when others are talking to you.
12. Give a weekly “Kindness Award” to someone in your family, school, church or workplace. Set up a process to select the winners.
13. Make a list of things you can do t bring more kindness into your family, neighborhood, school, workplace or community.
14. Hold a “Kindness Party” with your friends and ask each person to share kindness stories with each other.
15. Visit a neighbor with a bouquet of flowers for no reason at all.
16. Order a mail-order gift, anonymously, for a friend or someone at work who needs to be cheered up.
17. Dedicate a song on your local radio station to all those people who smiled at a stranger or were kind to strangers today.
18. Offer to help a neighbor by running an errand or for giving them a ride to the store.
19. Offer to baby-sit for your neighbor’s children to give them a break from parenting.
20. Ask family members to join you in spreading kindness in your family. Experiment with ways to spread kindness with each other for one week and notice how it affects family members.
21. If your neighbor leaves on la trip, offer to take in their newspaper and water their plants.
22. When someone new moves into the neighborhood welcome them to the neighborhood.
23. Shovel your neighbor’s sidewalk or now your neighbor’s lawn.
24. Give someone you know a great big hug.

A Dog Incident Turns Around with Kindness

This is a story that was told to me by Pete Gignac, Owner of Ashley Furniture. We were meeting for coffee at Starbucks and talking about the Kindness Campaign when Pete suddenly said to me, “My wife, Brenda, is one of the kindest people I know. Let me tell you a story of what she did recently.

I was walking my little dog, Murphy, when he was attacked by a larger dog that was pulling his owner. The woman was not walking the dog instead the dog was walking her. She had no control over her pet.

My dog was cut over the eye and there was a great deal of panic by both dog owners. I took my dog to the veterinarian and had stitches applied to Murphy’s eye. The other owner was from India and not a homeowner in our community, but a renter and a renter with a dog larger than allowed by community rules.

When my wife came home she went right over to the owner’s house and without any concern about the Vet’s bills, or the size of the dog, offered to help train her dog. She spent the next few months training the owner and the dog, at no cost, to the point where the dog became a well-disciplined animal and the owner had total control over the dog.

The neighbor invited us over for dinner at her house, the only Americans ever to be invited to their home, and the relationship became very close. When our new friends left to move to California my wife was presented with a gift and some parting tears. This story has a biblical feel to it. Because of Brenda’s kind act a possible enemy became a true friend for life.

Red Marbles

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes. I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily apprising a basket of freshly picked green peas. I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas. I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

"Hello Barry, how are you today?"

"H'lo, Mr. Miller. Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good."

"They are good, Barry. How's your Ma?"

"Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time."

"Good. Anything I can help you with?"

"No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas."

"Would you like to take some home?" asked Mr. Miller.

"No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."

"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"

"All I got's my prize marble here."

"Is that right? Let me see it" said Miller.

"Here 'tis. She's a dandy."

"I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?" the store owner asked.

"Not zackley but almost."

"Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble," Mr. Miller told the boy.

"Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller."

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me. With a smile she said, "There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever. When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store."

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man. A short time later I moved toColorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one. Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died. They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them. Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could. Ahead of us in line were three young men. One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking. They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket. Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket. Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller. I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles. With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

"Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them. Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size... they came to pay their debt."

"We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral : We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~
A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.
An unexpected phone call from an old friend.
Green stoplights on your way to work.
The fastest line at the grocery store.
A good sing-along song on the radio.
Your keys found right where you left them.

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We are going to collect and publish Kindness Stories sent to us by you the viewer of this web site. If you have a story to submit, email us at barryK@weinholds.org. We look forward to hearing your story.

Kindness to Our Fellow Creatures

On Thursday, Dec 14, 2005, a female humpback whale became entangled in a web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay afloat.  She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her body, binding her tail, her torso, and a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farralone Islands (outside of the Golden Gate) and radioed an environmental group for help.  Within a few hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was in such bad shape, the only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her--a very dangerous proposition.  One slap of her tail could kill a rescuer.  They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her.

When she was free, the divers say, she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them, pushing them gently around--she was thanking them.  Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives. The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth says her eye was following him the whole time he worked to rescue her, and he will never, ever be the same.